Befriend a Child: Ethan's story
For nearly 50 years, Befriend a Child has built a strong reputation as a reliable and valuable service, reflected in the steady rise of referrals from professional sources.
Guided by the belief ‘every child deserves a happy childhood and the best chance to thrive’, the charity delivers a high-impact service through trained and carefully matched volunteers. These volunteers provide stability, trust, friendship, and non-judgemental support, acting as caring non-authority figures during uncertain and often chaotic times, helping children make positive choices that can shape their futures.
In April 2022, The Volant Charitable Trust awarded a three-year grant of £45,000 to support the salary of the Befriending Coordinator for the Tackling Child Abuse Befriending project. The project works with school-aged children affected by abuse and neglect, referred from education, social work, healthcare, and third sector partners.
Volunteers play a central role, but the Coordinator is responsible for recruiting, training, matching, and supporting them. All volunteers complete comprehensive weekend training, including Child Protection and Awareness of Abuse and Neglect, before being matched with a child.
This feedback came from one volunteer:
Through the training, I gained a comprehensive understanding of the issues the children and young people face, as well as the practical skills needed to support them effectively. The training helped me understand the impact of substances on families and children, how to recognise signs of abuse, and how to appropriately respond and report any concerns. I also learned about protective and resilient factors, which I can use to help foster a positive and secure environment for the children I work with. Additionally, the training on policies and procedures, the role of befriending, building relationships, and establishing boundaries was incredibly valuable. It taught me how to create meaningful connections with the children while maintaining professional boundaries to ensure that both they and I are safe. The emphasis on communication and listening skills has prepared me to be attentive and responsive to the children’s needs.
Over the three-year period of this grant, 204 individuals benefited in total from this project (97 children and young people and 107 volunteers).
One of those beneficiaries was Ethan, and this is his story.
Ethan was matched with Adele in June 2024 after he was referred to Befriend a Child due to witnessing domestic violence and experiencing low self-confidence and self-esteem, and behaviour problems.
In 2022, Ethan’s dad was arrested and placed under bail conditions due to domestic violence against his mum. Following this incident, Ethan’s mum struggled with her mental health, which affected her ability to meet the emotional and social needs of her children. Ethan often felt scared and sad, and his frustrations were directed toward his mum, which created further challenges at home.
Through befriending support with Adele, Ethan quickly settled and embraced the opportunity to take part in new activities. He regularly rated outings as “12 out of 10” and began to show greater confidence and trust. During a trip to a landmark in Aviemore, Ethan initially felt anxious about the distance and the new experience but reflected at the end that the journey felt short because he had enjoyed chatting with Adele throughout.
Over time, Ethan has become more open about his feelings, showing trust in Adele, and he now actively looks forward to group activities, where he enjoys making new friends. At the organisation’s Halloween party, he was comfortable engaging with both peers and adults, displaying politeness and respect.
Ethan’s mum has noticed a remarkable difference. He now tries new activities and even foods he previously refused, overcoming fears such as climbing walls with encouragement from Adele. She has observed a much happier boy, thriving through 1:1 support, who is developing confidence, resilience, and a willingness to embrace new opportunities.
The befriending relationship has provided Ethan with a safe, trusted space to express himself, build friendships, and grow in confidence, positively impacting both him and his family.
Ethan’s social worker has noted a marked difference in Ethan and when she is with him, he is eager to talk about his time with Adele:
Ethan and his mother speak very highly of the befriending service offered and feel that Ethan has had many great opportunities to help him develop his skills. Ethan has definitely grown in confidence and has been keen to show us pictures and videos of him doing things on his own which his befriender has filmed for him to look back on. Ethan is very proud to have a befriender, and it would be hoped that this could continue for him for as long as possible.
Ethan has agreed to be interviewed for Befriend a Child’s 50th anniversary impact video to be shown at their annual ball and civic reception as he wants to promote how much his befriending means to him, and the benefits he has gained from being matched with Adele.
Read more about the Volant Charitable Trust grants programme